Take a pinch of Letterman and Conan for experience, add a dash of Jim Carrey and Schaal essence for absurdity, whisk in the natural charms of Clooney, Walken and Timberlake, 3 parts Fey, 3 parts Louis C.K and a cup of Chris Rock crunch.
Sandler for 5 minutes.
Bake in the oven for 20 minutes before glazing with Farley…

Then I did an ElDan and wore it splayed across my face while wearing her panties. Break ups are hard.

Pretty much had to cut it all off yeah, not much choice unfortunately.

Not 'til you're fifteeeeen!

Haha I do love to crack out the fuckin' Kings English every now and then!
It's like flashes of brilliance amongst the haze.

Cheers yeah, nothin' like projecting some heartbreak on to some good music, though I've found heeeeaaapps of my now favorite bands while going through that spasm of grief on the road to acceptance!
Bowie! Fleetwood Mac! Beach Boys! Certain weirdly specific to my situation songs on 'Revolver'…

My black eye shadow got all ruined that day.

There's still time, hang in there!

Yeah it was an image that took years to stop showing up in my dreams, but hey, you live and you learn, right?

I can dig it!

I would've taken a pay cut to keep her.. excuse me, I've got something in my eye…

Oh, I'm not a Doctor.

Go for it, mate! It was ages ago. And I must say, watching her get fucked for those few seconds before they realized I was there gave me the most confusing boner i'll ever have.

Thanks MLA!
Yeah it was fucked up, worst shit i've ever dealt with, but then I discovered The Beach Boys and things came good again.
Harmonies for the soul!

I know, and I knew I deserved to be called out on that as soon as I typed it, and I'm glad it was you.
Of course I don't condone anyone actually getting raped, my sense of humour is a bit caustic, and as you pointed out it's just coming from a place of frustration and sheer disbelief.
I'm not an eye-for-an-eye type guy…

Get's me every time, that song. Great choice.

But Charice Pempengco is blowin' up!

I dated an emo chick, we listened to a lot of My Chemical Romance, and after I walked in on my boss fucking her, I smashed all the CD's into a million pieces, I couldn't stand the thought of listening to them ever again.

All these people should clearly be hanged, too.
For inability to predict the future!

I subscribe to "Innocent until you rape 30+ women who all come forward with corroborating stories".