I'm fine but my phone is gonna need a steam clean.

I'm in it for the thrills, baby!
There's no where near enough time in my life to do all the wanking I'd like, so the thought of cutting that short by actually necking myself makes me wanna kill myself….. WANKCEPTION!

BONG ON!

Not sure, but this could be my Mother writing this letter, I better call her and check…

Saul drives the same car as me!.. or… I drive the same car as him.. I'm not sure which one is more awesome. Neither, most likely.

Nice catch!

Permission to stand in the corner while wanking and crying?

Ohhhh shit I just came..

I want diabetes!

Haha that's my mother for ya!

Is The Rum Diary worth watching? It's been on my list forever, but I'm more of a rabid TV consumer and I haven't gotten around to it.
I love the works of Thompson and Sir Depp, can anyone motivate me to take the trip?

Dude, after this long, if you hate it, just hit the road and do some stand-up, you're a funny bloke, maybe the office life just cannot tame the wild sock monkey. Good luck and bong on.

You're history's greatest monster.

Can I assist you with anything else, sir?
♫Or do you just wanna get a hit of this wicked ass shit? YEEAH!
*smokes the fuck up* Jump! Jump!

No, but I'm the Kenny Kramer to his Cosmo Kramer.

Worse, I went to brown town!

Have you tried Lonely Boo Radley's Wanking Creams and Ointments Ltd brand at all?
They're hard to find and a bit scary at first, but they'll save your life one day, trust me.

Goes great with dick cheese.

Don't get me started on "oil based paints".

Use them wisely, my friend.