You’re quite good but the parody is a little too on the nose. You gotta soften it a little, talk about “economic anxiety” before you hit ‘em with the buzzwords.

If I can’t recharge it to full in under 2 minutes, it’s useless!

Give it a custom horn that yells “HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!”

I dunno man, with all those capital letters and exclamation points, how could Gordon possibly be incorrect? 

I’ve been to both, too. Detroit isn’t remotely that bad. 

Torque vectoring: exists

Torch vectoring: fundamentally incapable of existing 

The man in black fled across the internet, and the controversy followed.

Rename him Pumat Sol and have Matt Mercer give him a gormless Canadian accent.

“Krang feels conflicted about fighting a young blind girl.”

I wouldn’t call them “unrelated;” as crocodilians, dinosaurs, and avian dinosaurs/birds are both types of archosaurs, right?

“eve online learning curve”

All Challengers Are Broken? 

At first I thought you were using the Changli itself as an obscure measure of length, like a furlong. 

...this is the most perfect analogy.

“Thast because he knows all the peons that work for him are liars and jealous of his hard earned money /s”

I loved Alexander. It’s just such a wonderfully weird-AF series of raids. And the gobbo-EDM music is the icing on the massive steampunk primalcake.

Can confirm, liftbacks are AMAZING. You trade the raw cubes of a wagon for ease of loading/unloading. A foldable wheelchair is much less of a hassle with our liftback Volt vs. our hatchback C-Max.

Can someone please make a “Don Quixote tilting at windmills” image but instead of windmill blades they’re giant Doritos?

If we were to separate the categories of driving experience and ownership experience, I would submit the Renesis for having such a delta between the two. It was hands down one of the best engines I’ve ever driven. Responsive, immediate, sounded like a turbine, and gloriously linear in its powerband.

These are white men who want to be Homer Simpson, without the kindness or the responsibility.