zephyrflower
zephyrflower
zephyrflower

UTIs exist because sex in all its forms is Satan’s dirty, disgusting, and evil work and treatment should not be covered by insurance because women will continue to be promiscuous if they can get easy treatment.

Ugh. If I’m ever eaten by a 23-foot-long reticulated python in the remote village of Salubrio, I hope the villagers who discover me at least have enough respect to film the extraction of my corpse horizontally.

He was smoking hot in the 80's, as anyone who has seen Real Genius or Top Secret will agree.

If you read everything Val Kilmer wrote like it came from a drunken Jim Morrison, it makes a lot more sense.

A Rod has NOT “made it clear that he loves [J Lo] in very skimpy outfits.”

OOF. That is a sobering bit of perspective.

she slipped past the groundbreaking soul singer with 76 chart-toppers.

There are nearly 200 votes for that. WHO ARE THESE ASSHOLES? SHOW YOURSELVES

Male fragility is a truly amazing thing.

“Wyoming—god bless you in Wyoming

Congrats to Ru and Georges. I barely even tolerate 5 years, must less happily going for 23.

If you disgorge an antelope, does that mean it’s a cantaloupe?

I married my husband because he looks like Ewan McGregor’s younger brother. I even get him to talk to me in a Scottish accent when I can’t reach orgasm.

Norman Reedus does that to me, I understand completely.

I suspect this is to divert attention from Marc Anthony’s wife blaming JLo for breaking them up, but good luck to both of them—they know what they’re getting.