Glad the 'fire in a crowded theater' was brought up again:

Oh God. The Wii U is just fine. Let me guess, you don't have one?

I hate all these self-appreciative assholes who are coming out the woodwork, stating that the old Xbox was some sort of technical marvel, and stepping stones to the next entertainment milestone. And then they have the audacity to say those people who were against it were uninformed consumers. Fuck you, and fuck your…

So Smash Bros. has been region-locked to Las Vegas for the weekend, I guess. (This is me stealing my own jokes from Twitter, because you Kotaku readers deserve to see them, too.)

I've used an R4 device for back-up purposes for years now, but I've never downloaded a game that I did not buy brand new myself. I do understand why Nintendo needs to ban its use by forcing firmware updates specifically meant to close it down. I've yet to know if Nintendo can make these firmware updates faster than…

Game piracy is one thing I've never been able to really understand. With the number of ways to get games cheap, stealing them is really kind of a dick move. Wait for something to hit $5 on a Steam sale. Buy it used. Stock p on the wealth of awesome, dirt-cheap indie games out there and/or Humble Bundles. But…

If they actually convict this guy then I guess we'll have to send a bunch of comedians to jail too. Chris Rock, Daniel Tosh, Louis C.K. etc. They're all guilty in the eyes of the law if they decide Justin Carter is guilty. Hell, they'll probably have to posthumously convict George Carlin and Bill Hicks too! After…

To anyone saying he deserves this, or that it serves him right, or that he has to suffer the consequences of his actions: fuck you. Fuck you so hard. You can't tell me you've never said something like this in passing. You're all gamers. You get nerd-rage. I'm assuming you have a sense of humor. Black humor is…

8 years in prison with murderers and real criminals . I hope the judge in this case has a fucking brain and throws this case out the window.

Except for the fact that this holiday season, the Wii U is the only console that'll have some fun games to play. I'll direct you to how the 3ds was selling it's first year... and how it's selling now.

I dunno, I think it's pretty culturally looked down upon for us to expect our guests to help pay for our weddings here in the US, too. I don't have any idea where these people are coming from or why they think this, but I think it's RUDE AS HELL.

Iunno. Buying a Wii U.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

It's an 8th gen console, bud.

The Wii was Nintendo's seventh gen console the Wii U is 8th gen.

Console Dev: "We're going to make a game that uses the architecture of what we know you already have to really optimize your experience."

PC Dev: "We're going to make a game. If you cant play it, go fuck yourself or buy a new computer."

I remember those times clouds were so powerful we also used them as bushes :)

I believe this deserves special mention:

Who the hell reads reviews for a game like Wario Ware?

Pool would explode from sheer confusion.