“Water is fake. It’s fake.”

I can’t. I need more wine... STAT!

I really wanted her to be knocked back and fall right on her arse.

I’ll stick with Moscow mules, thankyouverymuch!

My time to shine! Wonder if it's too late to have my marriage annulled? It's only been six months, and this is Jon Hamm! My husband would understand. I know I would if Drew Barrymore became single.

This is gold. I would hope this wasn’t the first time he’d been smashed, and done dumb shit around her.

You know why I call bullshit on Rachel Dolezal saying she’s black on the inside: Many of us black women would love to have straight, more manageable hair without having to relax or flat iron it! Or at the very least, looser curls that don’t need meticulous care so it doesn’t break.

You could wait until it’s all over to propose. You could use the time during the reception to really be tender with your cherished one. You could even leave early, pull them aside, and ask them to marry you.

I want her cheekbones! Oh my god! And her lips.

They always fall for the pretty face. Always.

7/10 would smash.

I guess I’m not psychic, because I never would’ve seen that coming.

Ugh. The worst. Enough to drive a person to drink.

I’d tell him if I hadn’t lost count.

More for me then!

He's kinda cute. I'd hit it.

I can’t possibly be the only one whose parent talked to them about sex at an early age, and had some grasp by age 8 what a condom was. I just can’t.

She's such a little scamp, that Sarah Palin. Makes me want to put my hands on my hips, and do the Carol Brady head lean every time she speaks.

Eh. Nothing a bit of sleeping around in their early 20s, with some follow up therapy won't fix.

When you gotta get your groove back, you gotta go get it back!