Roseanne is still a thing?

Allah! The balls on Aladdin!

I am actually grossed out that I had a crush on him in my teens. GROSSED. OUT.

Seriously. I have two dogs. I'd do everything I could to get them back, but c'mon. She had me until I read 'psychics'.

I just need to borrow Jason Sudeikis. Period.

M.

It slays me when they make me out to be an ingrate when I don't thank them for their comments.

Best. Pic. Ever.

Done and done. I peeked at like two... or five. I'm part of the problem! I only ever peek at celebrity nudes to see what they look like without makeup.

Hello, new best friend!

I've been on a sugar high the last few years. Now shit is getting real.

Ooh. I wonder if it's on Netflix. Send a mop and bucket, just in case.

Eh. It's at least a nudge towards progress.

Aaaaand my panties just slid right off. Something something... laws against Tom Hardy winking.

Oh oh oh! And thanks for introducing me to Tom Hardly. Goddamn, I'm getting old! I'm so out of the loop.

I don't know why, but Drake almost always seems to wear a 'breaking up speech' look on his face.

That's just mad. I wore mine once for a weekend while camping. I'd forgotten my lens solution. They were terribly cloudy. Couldn't imagine six months.

That girlfriend is an utter cunt.

He looks like the offspring of Chuck Norris and 'True Blood's Sam Trammell.

I'm black. But, yeah... all that other stuff.