Don’t leave us hanging! DISH! I assume he either smells okay in real life or you did it for the bragging rights. Which is it?

I’m hoping these will positively splash onto the market:

I do hate the pollution of plastic straws, and at the same time I LOVE straws! I’m hoping these will take hold of the straw market: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/lolistraw-by-loliware#/

That may be Judge Judy’s advice, but it is not the law. And I have NEVER given back a piece of jewelry. Was it Mae West or Zsa Zsa Gabor that said, “I’ve never hated a man enough to give back diamonds”?

Not even a little bit surprised.

Katy Perry has been acting like a cokehead recently, but the fact is, I would expect a couture gown to be better tailored, too. Bunching up around the bosom isn’t a sign of impeccable tailoring. That said, the Duchess of Sussex looked radiantly beautiful and filled with joy, which is the most important thing. We can…

There is Royal precedent for a bride being escorted down the aisle by her mother. If that’s the way they wanted to do it, it probably would have been fine.

There’s precedent for it, which I am too lazy to Google at the moment. Some people thought that Prince William would escort her, because there is precedent for that, too.

I have literally milked a cow into a cup and drank the milk. It’s delightful.

This is a British thing, and a Royal thing. There are always millions of kids at big fancy weddings.

That makes me feel so much better!

He really does! I don’t watch the show or anything, and from the outside, that guy looks like the whitest white guy to ever white. Isn’t he even from Wisconsin or Minnesota or something?

I knew Kylie had moved on from Tyga, and I admit I know little of her new boyfriend. I did, perhaps unfairly, lump him in with the likes of Tyga. No one can argue that Tyga is a good, upstanding, person.

I absolutely did not know that, and still think he looks and acts like a dim goldendoodle.

Oh, gawd, read again! First of all, I was referring to that WHITE guy Kim married, and I was saying that he looked like a “poorly-bred goldendoodle,’ which is a damned dog with more enthusiasm than sense. If you just want to think I’m a racist asshat, go ahead. You’re allowed to be wrong all you want. Reading…

I admit I lumped in Kylie’s boyfriend based on nothing. And of course it’s not an anti-Black people sentiment! Scott whatshisname is a dumpsterfire of a man and that white guy Kim married was essentially a poorly bred goldendoodle set on its hind legs. Or even Caitlyn Jenner! Kris married one of the most selfish,…

The Kardashian-Jenner man-picker is collectively broken, and they seem to only be with garbage humans and egomaniacs. Of COURSE Kylie wouldn’t sleep with Tim Chung—he’s an attractive professional man with no hugely messy and very public back story.

That’s... too true to be funny.

Honestly, the hair is a very mean-mom-who-won’t-let-Tricia-come-with-us-to-the-mall look. Ugh.