Jeezy Chreezy. And then show him Eddie Izzard’s Dress to Kill where God says, “Jesus Christ!” and Jesus says, “Don’t take my name in vain, Dad.” And God says, “Jeezy Chreezy!” and Jesus says, “AND DON’T CALL ME JEEZY CHREEZY!”

Yes. I’m sure he drives an awesome van.

Well, yeah. But I’m delightful, so of course it was that easy...

you live like a group of clinically depressed sewer rats

Our problem at home is sort of tangential, but I feel like you ladies will understand. My husband is NOT lazy, and cooks, and does laundry, and is wonderful. But he flat-out has ZERO understanding of what all I do. Like last year, he was bursting with pride on taking perfect care of our baby daughter while I was away…

I so appreciate you saying that. Sage isn’t exactly wrong, I just loooove precision. To the point I should talk to my therapist about it being a manifestation of anxiety-related OCD. But still... I love it.

I’m so going to get arrested. I want my daughter to have a life and a world and the ability to do things on her own. I’m gonna end up in jail...

Me, too. Unironically and for yeeears now. No shame.

Maxine is eau de Nil, I believe, but you are dead on about that carpet. I like it, but it is not eau de Nil.

I’ve noted the prevalence of this color with joy, as it has always been a favorite of mine. I had no idea, however, that it is a cultural phenomenon. I guess I’ll just load up on it in various forms so I can have plenty during the upcoming backlash.

You are my new favorite.

I, to this minute, can’t decide if getting to be friends with Patti LuPone would be life-alterningly amazing or just a big pain in the ass.

YES!!! I came here specifically to say that flower is NOT a hibiscus.

Yes! Her brother offered her help to leave and vocally encouraged her to divorce that pig dog of a husband of her.

Oh, fuck Caitlyn Jenner. You know what I’m hearing? Excuses. Caitlyn had aaallllll the resources, especially when compared to the transpeople I know in real life, and if she wanted a different life that is on HER. Kris is a disgusting piece of shit human, but this still isn’t her personal fault, and I would like to…

I do.

This is what I learned, too, and as I said, he earned it.

Her Majesty knows how to keep calm and carry on, not because of a douchey poster, but because she has done so. She is the only Royal in history to have changed their own tire. She is a paragon of Royal behavior.

Yes! Their marriage was hoped for and put forward by Phillip’s people, not hers, and they reportedly had the super-major hots for each other. I wonder if they’ve settled into companionship because his health is so frail and they really are quite elderly now... but I have little doubt they were Doing It into his…

I felt ashamed the GWB was representing us and was so stupid. I felt that he reflected the worst part of the American people. However, I never felt that I was or my loved ones were in bodily danger. I disagreed with his politics—I never thought he would get us all killed out of sheer hubris, and that is saying…