We need Moore of this

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

hook this kinja straight up to my fuckin veins

There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

i, likewise, demand answers for why the packers haven’t been as good since rodgers got hurt. i’m not saying obama’s behind all this, but i’m also not not saying obama’s behind this.

You know you’ve done a good job as a coach when you’ve boxed yourself into a corner where you’ve got two choices and either one makes you look like an idiot.

Guess he must have seen something in the game tape.

Y’all remember when Joe Wilson, Republican Congressman from South Carolina yelled “You lie!” during a joint session of Congress? I remember thinking that it was one of the most disrespectful things that I’ve ever heard somebody in the Senate say...to the Presidents face! And that was over Healthcare. And Obama wasn’t…

You know, I actually thought Trump would have gotten even more tyrannical by now. Like I was honestly expecting “disappearances”of people like this and sudden “emergency powers” enacted after the first domestic terrorist attack, stuff like that.
But it turns out Trump is not only a shitty president, he’s a shitty…

The Swedish Chef felt me up.

“I’m fine guys. I told you, the concussion water works!”

Are you suggesting that the schoolyard is a great place for giant otters to catch a meal?

2017: When I’m done you’ll WISH they were dead!

Man, 2017 looked back at 2016 and asked, “what’s worse than a year devoted to killing off your favorite celebrities? I got this.”

Uh, there were no allegations (not even anonymous ones) on record and Kirkman denied her article was about LCK. And the origin of the story appeared to be a Gawker article.

I want fifty

“The best way to stop a bad guy with a dick pic is a good guy with a dick pic.”

In 50 years the following question is going to show up on whatever quiz show there is then and nobody is going to know the answer:

..three police cars arriving at the scene to help Officer Tenderfeels crack the case of The Loud Noise Made Me Feel Ways About Things.