I think the message behind "All About the Base" is that the only good body is Meghan Trainor's body.

HAAAAAAAA LIKE ME

SO MANY THINGS IN THIS DIRT BAG.

That's not something good about SeaWorld. That's something cute about manatees.

Cute little prisoners aren't they?

The guy is up for, among other things, attempted murder (one of like 36 charges). There is a witness besides just the victim (who narrowly escaped). I mean, this is an open-and-shut case; clean ID of the attacker, a sympathetic victim who is testifying, a corroborating witness (and actually also a victim); I don't…

I'm sorry to all of my loved ones and supporters, this ordeal has just been hell on me.

I like my gratuity grilled until it's tender. Please remember that for next time.

Dustin Hoffman cock blocked Jack Nicholson!!

She's Greek. We have olive oil flowing in our blood, keeping our skin youthful.

I honestly do hope Lohan makes some sort of comeback because she is a talented person.

I agree in general, because long title sequences are usually a total waste. Like that Parenthood sequence that is just endless family photos? Uuuuuuuugh. But I liked that the original NG sequence was like a weird scene from the show — everyone in character, doing something odd. I loved Nick's little "WTF is happening,…

"You guys have any leftover headshots we can use?"

I hated the old one. I hate long title sequences so much. Watching TV from the 90's/aughts is murder to me. So, if they can make it 5 seconds long? I'm happy.

DO NOT PEE ON JELLYFISH STINGS. DO NOT PEE ON JELLYFISH STINGS. DO NOT PEE ON JELLYFISH STINGS.

as someone who has gained weight and went from being openly ogled to basically ignored, i totally get being over it. also, that commenter sucks, i still don't understand how being a fan of someone's work (though i guess he was only a fan of her figure?) makes you feel entitled to controlling someone's physical…

When I was 13, I was worrying about how I was going to trick my parents into giving me enough money to buy another mesh shirt from Hot Topic and this is why she will probably end up president while I continue to comment on Jezebel when I should be working.

oh great, a 13 year old says stuff about voting, people love it.

Jesus Christ. Lorde is just everywhere isn't she?