They were all “trust us, we eat carbs.”

We were so curious we asked to see their paintings after. A lot of girls painted apples or leaves in front of his crotch. Lame. I would have gone full dong and hung it in my living room. My husband would LOVE that.

Best. Photo. Ever.

Pinot’s Palatte, Berkeley Heights, NJ.

The one time I did “paint and sip”, the room next to us was a bachelorette party. They had cupcakes, wine, gaudy penis necklaces, tiaras, and the bride-to-be wore a sash.

I purchased 2 cute t-shirts for my nieces on Old Navy’s website on 11/26. One came in a week. The other came yesterday.

Ending the Medicaid participation of Planned Parenthood affiliates in the State of Texas is another step in providing greater access to safe healthcare for women while protecting our most vulnerable – the unborn.

King of assholes.

October 16th and it’s the FUCKING BEST! In college, it was almost always during homecoming. My 21st was ON homecoming and I told everyone the parade was because of my birthday.

Is it me, or is Anna becoming Michelle? The way she talks, the vocal inflection, her curly weird hair, her vacant eyes...

Biggest question remains: will Melissa have sprinkle cookies at Christmas Eve?

ok you two are making me want to move to san rafael...

Christmas came early in the form of this amazing list.

Confession. I’ve never ever seen this movie. The only Christmas movie worth it’s salt is Christmas Eve on Sesame Street - the ORIGINAL one with Mr. Hooper. I am a grown-ass 38 year old woman and stand by that statement.

I only buy the Sonoma-brand candles from Kohl’s. Always $9.99, and when I have a 30% coupon I stock the fuck up. They smell wayyyyyyy better than Yankee.

It would be SO TRAGIC if a hammer just fell out of the sky onto this guy’s skull.

Screw Wen. Soul Glo is the best.

I worked for Express & Express Men from 2000-2005. Every fucking year that Mariah song was on our Christmas CD. 9-10 hour work days, I would hear that song at least 15 times. I have convulsions if I hear that song now.

OMFG I just googled this and it’s GOLD. We are DINKs and I so badly need this.

I fucking cannot take this shit. I do not find these people funny or entertaining.