I can’t wait for that orange fucktard doucheface Trump to come out and say how she’s still be alive if she had a gun herself.

This photo makes her look like Lady Elaine Fairchild from Mr. Rogers.

Nothing tickles me more than seeing “Kitchenette - Well-Known for our Amuse Douche” pop up in the search bar when I go to this site. LONG LIVE KITCHENETTE!!!! See you Monday on Wonkette for BCO!

This breaks my heart. I’ve been a fan of Milihelen since the beginning, and it’s been awesome. I will see you over at The Toast, Jane Marie!

Fuck Texas.

Jesus in that suit tho...

So we have to create a registry of followers of a certain faith because THEY ARE ALL TERRORISTS. Meanwhile, the people that can get guns as easy as putting money in a candy machine and turning the dial? Nope! No need to do any vetting of those people!

I’m sorta shocked that this was Michigan and not Florida. This really smelled like Florida.

I cannot handle this right now. I cannot fucking handle this.

During a day-long job interview at my alma mater. I was interviewing for a recruiter position where I’d work closely with HS kids applying to and planning to attend my university. I went to a Big Ten school and am fiercely obsessed with having gone there.

Thank you, Fate <3

Can’t we just settle this and come together for a nice sausage party?

I never thought I’d agree with any of the toxic garbage that comes out of this pee flavored-cotton candy-headed fool, but yes, Pharma Bro is totally disgusting.

And this is important to the future of our country because.........

I met Bobby Flay at a work event around the same time his divorce was all over the papers. I so badly wanted to ask “so really, are you banging Giada or what?”

THANK YOU Whatsup!!!!! I swear, when Hurricane Sandy blew through here, her hair didn’t move a centimeter.

Hugeeeeee hugs to your mom! Wishing her continued good health!!!!

<3 <3 thank you <3 <3

thank you thank you thank you, LaLady!!!!! She texts me “do you like my new hipster glasses?” She’s a riot!

Thanks, Scatter <3 The hair...she uses this hair glue that people use for mohawks. Seriously! Everyone wants to touch it: kids, strangers, the cashier at Target, the tollboth lady on the New Jersey Turnpike (Girrrllll, I love that hair!), the dude behind us at Dunkin Donuts last week, the lady at the MAC store, and my…