Spoiler alert: In an article about what happens in a movie, what happens in the movie will be discussed. If you do not wish to be exposed to what happens in the movie, do not read an article about what happens in the movie.

The NFL is so average. It seems like every year the leagues collective win-loss is right at .500

fuck you, my team has no kicker

The Stampeders are fine, but I like turtles.

Also, “America the Beautiful” is 100000x better than the anthem and GBA anyway.

Yeah, other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.

The runner-up headline for this blog was Bison Yeets Child Into Oblivion

I believe the correct jargon used by the kids these days is, “yeet”

I’ve done this before at a few Cubs games. Haven’t figured out how to post on Youtube yet so I think I’m safe.

I’m sure Kenny Loggins has something to say about screw ups in this trailer.

#whereskenny

You know, Boonie is on to something here. For as Rousseau said in his Discourse on Inequality, “In fact, the real source of all those differences, is that the savage lives within himself, whereas the citizen, constantly beside himself, knows only how to live in the opinion of others.” That is, in “the box” the batter…

Honestly, kids shouldn’t be in the bleachers anyways, unless you want them to grow up into Mai Tai Guy.

“All the kids are in the front row because we let them go there” 

I’m not sure what’s worse, being Takes-Ball-Away-From-Kids Guy or being Chooses-Drinks-Based-On-ABV guy.

When it comes to sefety issues it reminds me of this:

Heh. Remember them laser skates in Jupiter Ascending? Oh, you didn’t see Jupiter Ascending? Well la-di-da, look at you; I guess you’ve never done a whole bunch of drugs and suddenly found yourself outside a movie theatre? You fancy-pants son of a bitch — you think you’re better than me? Fuck you. I’ll watch Jupiter…

Moonraker had the awesome Flight Into Space by John Barry.

Great stuff, Mr. Ratto.

Beautiful dark boar

All in favor of making Boar Monday a thing say “Aye.”