LA might have its collective face permanently stuck in front of a mirror, but there is no city with its head more firmly lodged in its own crotch than New York City.

You're asking that here?

Oh, I definitely know your grandmother. We all do.

The fact that Law And Order: SVU is made for your grandmother didn't do it?

But Sorkin never would've thought to do that (which would've been hilarious) because he doesn't understand how to write humor for humor's sake. There's plenty of humor in 'The Social Network', for example, but it's not that kind of being funny. It's more based in conversational irony and sarcastic attacks. He wouldn't…

Your mother is so dense. Every single cock in her has so many things going on.

What we need is a biography of YOUR BROTHER STANDING IN A FIELD IN AFGHANISTAN!

Dawn Weiner grew up to be Taylor Swift. Tell me it doesn't make sense.

A red letter day for boring white women everywhere.

Great! So we'll see you here next week so you can tell me that again!

Other people's thoughts and opinions, man. So stifling.

Bullshit. Read the article.

Hey, I found your wallet, want it back?

I liked it enough. Not groundbreaking, but I'll give it a shot. Looking forward to seeing everyone who took the time to shit on the pilot episode right back here in the comments next week. Until then!

I'm not talking with anyone who says 'get thee'.

Do I look insane? I know I do, but act like I don't.

Yeah, she was probably in the bathroom doing her period or whatever.

Frantically waving my hand from the back of the class to remind you all that this person was in Ghost Protocol, not Rogue Nation. I'll just yell it out even if you don't call on me, so don't worry about it too much.

She's in Ghost Protocol, not Rogue Nation.

That flash-fried bird stole my credit!