Yeah, because I'm sure the original destination of all those dorks was the fucking beach.

BREAKING: Some people don't enjoy Comic Con. Adjust your Batman mask and deal with it.

As spectacularly shittastic and contextually blasphemous as all this sounds, making a movie where Spidey is a reanimator and NOT calling it 'Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark' would've been the greatest missed opportunity at trolling the world that could ever possibly exist.

There wasn't even an ellipsis. Just a shitty caption editor who was probably wacked out on goofballs.

Peggy Carter could whip Wonder Woman's narrow ass in a New York minute.

Someone who looks like they've ever actually held and used a sword in their lives would've been great.

I'll put a D in Daddario.

Man, Wonder Woman should be HUGE. Like bigger than Batman huge, and I don't mean just muscular. I mean TALL and STRONG and fucking HUGE. She's a freaking Amazon, for chrissakes. Does no one know what an Amazon is? Not a fucking Victoria's Secret model. Let's start there.

I liked 'Leslie and Ron' a lot, but I don't remember laughing harder all year than I did for the Johnny Karate episode. A completely new format for the show, and an amazing sendoff for Chris Pratt, who started out as a nobody on the show and is now arguably one of the biggest movie stars in the world. I always rewatch…

Nonsense. Dawn Weiner grew up to be Taylor Swift.

Drug dealer. Got it.

Calling your agent to ask what the fuck you ever did to them to cast you in this dogshit… FROM A LANDLINE!

Imagine all the midnight shootings THIS movie will inspire! EXTREEEEEEME!

I've never needed a repurposed Avenged Sevenfold comment from YouTube more in my entire life.

YOU'LL GET YOUR
YOU'LL GET YOUR
YOU'LL GET YOUR DAMN FOOT CUT OFF

In bullshit movie review lingo, the phrase 'at best' replaces it. Either that or 'underrated'. Every 12-year-old on AICN throws in at least one of those into every post they make.

Music critic hyperbole and descriptors are the worst things on earth. Is this sun-splashed summer trunk-banger rife with incendiary axe solos, multi-limbed drumwork, and an ever-present angularity of decisive low-end thrum? I bet it is.

Yeah, like any of you aren't going to see 'Burt Macklin Vs. The Dinosaurs: In 3-D!' this weekend. Uh-huh. Sure.

I guess so. Who cares? Try and make your recovery a smooth one.

I thought the same thing. Something else that will probably come out next week, and also a possible tie-in to the Hooli phone that Bighead found.