Oh, you’re right of course.

The one with the better social skills.

Web traffic is the product.

Either bad Bill Russell or good John Valby.

Geographic majority. That’s a pretty weird concept.

That’s nothing. I’m going to tell him that Puerto Ricans are US citizens.

The Me Generation are those who came into adulthood in the 1970s. So yeah, they’re older folks.

But it’s a manufacturer’s coupon and I’ll get double off since it’s less than $1. Like it’s my fucking fault that the manager doesn’t trust Betty to override the register, so she has to call Kevin over to do it for her. If I knew ahead of time that my Sparkle coupon would cause such a fuss, I would have grabbed the…

The poor sot stuck in the middle seat gets both armrests.

As a broad-shouldered guy (well, just generally broad now), I take it for granted that I’m going to get bumped by every piece of luggage going past me towards the rear of the plane. Maybe if the aisle were wider than a piece of notebook paper, that wouldn’t occur.

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I call them pigeon people. Because they will walk down the center of a parking lot lane like a bunch of dumb pigeons.

If you’re passing other traffic, then slowing down every time you see a police car, you’re a shitty driver.

Now that I’m at a mellow age, I just drive like a normal person.

If you’re doing less than 75 anywhere near Toronto you’re the traffic hazard.

They could, you know, drive around and pull over speeders and reckless drivers they encounter. You don’t need radar for speed enforcement.

Your Roomba is trying to teach you to pick up after yourself. You might be a show learner, but it's patient.

Go absolutely batshit with the ups and downs. Don’t just note, show entire sequences of a Queen or Elton John party, in all their Caligula-like excess. Blow our minds out with the sheer decadence and over-indulgence and don’t pretend these people ever really came down off their cloud of entitlement, even when humbled…

Ever been to the circus?