Why would you imagine that?

Get rid of steering wheels. All cars should be steered using two ropes.

We could make everyone in a car wear a football helmet and govern the cars to not exceed fifty miles per hour.

If you’re lucky and get old, you too will become a very shitty driver.

Jan-Feb 2018, give or take a couple months.

Tickle them ‘til they puke.

Why should the NFL give a crap about someone’s necklace?

If you don’t get the reference, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell the rest of us.

He could grab it and pull him down by his neck all day. It’s not part of the uniform, so it’s not holding.

Conflating Moore trolling for 14-year-olds with someone who actually molests little children does matter.

Like the “Muslim is not a race, so banning them isn’t racism” argument, once you’re arguing pedophilia versus child molestation, you’ve already lost the argument.

Ya gotta ask their mommas first, though, to be polite.

Whereas the magic of the govt paying for it is better?

My reagle.

The correct answer is 2 PM, not 4. You had a small breakfast, if any, and no lunch.

I have to plunge a Cadet 3, maybe once a year.

Efficient!

My premiums have gone from under $200/month to almost $1000/month

Yeah, well, they’re getting sage and that’s that. There was a sale and I had a coupon.

We’re bringing fancy-ass hand soap. Bath and Body Works in festive fragrances.