I have bad news for you on that front.

There are a hundred open spots. Jeep guy’s an asshole (staged asshole, but nonetheless).

There’s a reason for that.

Engineers have saved more lives than doctors and soldiers combined.

Furthermore, no one expects to find classified information in email, because you’re not supposed to email classified information.

The shit we used to do in the Seventies was much more extreme than anything I see kids doing today.

Counterpoint: we were much worse as kids than today’s youth. Getting drug down the hall during a tantrum wouldn’t have made the local paper.

The tingle tells you it’s working.

You’re a teacher. You know their system for handling disruptive kids is, “handle it yourself and you better not send them down to the office for us to deal with.”

It’s more fun with the typo.

Like me, he looks like he’s a good eater.

I’m not sure the math here checks out...

I work for a beer distributor, you tell me!

I could say outlandish shit in the media too what could happen to me? Could I become... President?

That’s exactly right.

1. More inexperienced congressmen are more inexperienced. Longevity in an institution matters. If the ones who know how everything works are lobbyists, guess who runs everything.

He’s still coming for your guns. He’s jus’ being slow and sneaky!

Yep. They were singing “goodbye” to their Republican colleagues.

It’s not so much a burn as it is good advice.

That was the other side of the aisle, and it was payback for the Republicans singing that to them on previous occasions.