I just had an interview for an internal job where they asked the “bad qualities” question.

We have a cabinet full of candles. Fuck candles.

“But why do you care?” Conway wondered.

He’s no Imam Shumpert, but it’ll do.

Thanks. We used to feel the same way about you. We both know it’s not forever, but it seems like it.

You mean a hillbilly gasoline station attendant isn’t going to lead us to the promised land?

He watches football. He doesn’t watch the Browns. There’s a difference.

He doesn’t even remember the play.

Let’s look at that hit again, Johnny.

There are myriad ways this can go ridiculously wrong.

Yeah. I didn’t see flexibility or guts anywhere on that list. They’d be on mine.

I had a supervisor say that I was too open and honest.

You got it.

The position only adds value if there’s someone really good filling it.

One Thanksgiving we decided to stay an extra day and come back on Sunday. Never again. The kids were babies and there was no restaurant available at lunch that wasn’t packed with a line waiting. Had to feed the babies at a rest stop.

I later found out that many students and their parents had voiced concerns about her being verbally abusive, but the teacher kept escaping punishment because nobody could corroborate.

I have the feeling that people around him are going to have to push him to do his job.

Hypermiling is the opposite of driving fun.

I wonder if he knows what bathroom to use.

I kinda like CVTs. I don’t like CVTs that pretend to be geared automatics by pretending to shift gears. I drove one of those last week and under heavy acceleration it was “shifting.” What the fuck is this horseshit? You’re a CVT. Just go.