And that’s different from a normal night in Cleveland...how?

Why did they even bother putting this on the air? Everyone in Cleveland - even my mother, who pathetically can’t name a player other than LeBron - was watching the game. There won’t be a bigger waste of money than this until someone signs Harrison Barnes to a max contract this summer.

Russell?

Joe Tait deserved to make this call. That’s my only qualm with basically anything right now.

...so...what do we do now?

I can’t really fault the refs too badly for this one as, after a year of listening to Donald Trump speak, I, too, find it hard to tell whether or not something has, in fact, crossed the line.

After the fifth goal, they actually threw trash as well...which isn’t surprising seeing as A) occurred only 8 minutes after the third goal and B) Chile celebrated in the same corner as they did the third goal. The ref then sent Chicharito over to get the crowd to stop.

You’re wrong! :P

Don’t give El Tri fans too much credit: it was more a matter of happenstance than restraint/maturity on their part.

Second half. It started after the 3rd goal (49th minute).

Your Copa América semifinalists:

“They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime, but I tried to make it at home. There’s more to it than that.”

This is a surprise. I would have assumed that Rob would have sat in front so that Rex could watch his feet go round and round, up and down, ebbing and flowing in a beautiful cascade of circles, from zenith to nadir before returning towards zenith in an epic climax of...wait, what were we talking about, again?

If I’m forced to take a stab in the dark, I’ll say Brooklyn. They have cap space, a history of making poor roster decisions, and are completely bereft of talent (due to those aforementioned poor roster decisions). Also, given the fact that they don’t have control of their first round pick until 2019, does it really…

Only if you have a silent sidekick who’s willing to let you aim it at his nuts.

This take was much less hot than I was hoping it would be. Goddammit, Kevin. I mean, you’re right, but seriously, goddammit.

Can someone explain to me how the Sports Gods, the Networks, the Brands, and the American Public allowed two major sporting events to occur concurrently while Wednesday night was devoid of anything save regular season baseball?

Do what I do: use a pneumonic device.

+1 inexplicable max contract this summer

All except for #5 because, obviously, Joe Flacco.