Every. Damn. One.

LeBron’s Stat Line: 41 Points + 11 Assists + 8 Rebounds + 4 Blocks + 3 Steals + 2 Unshattered Testicles = 69

Draymond Green: Ass

Unfortunately, those pills won’t stop Draymond from kicking you in the nuts and calling you a bitch.

When reached for comment, James responded to this article by saying that he was the father of three kids and a man.

Shaun Livingston: [knee implodes]

Normal-type, my ass...dark-poison is more like it: evil, toxic, and resistant to all of the predictions of the [psychic] pundits.

No shit...and, if you’re Russian, no piss, either.

Seeing as how Putin claims that there are no queens in Russia, I fully support playing this in lieu of their anthem solely to see his response.

...who coached the doormat from the NFC West.

That said, Löw’s love of smelling ass is a sizable improvement over his predecessor who, as Landon Donovan will surely attests, prefers to suck it.

I can't help but think that Draymond Green is somehow responsible for this, too.

Or for any potential goal, period.

Because instituting video replay would make it harder for officials who had received bribes to affect the outcome of a match? It’s FIFA 101!

While you are fully correct in your explanation, I would argue that if cutting edge goal-line technology can be used to help a referee decide whether a ball fully traversed the goal line, then a simple video review for certain plays (e.g. a possible goal) isn’t too much to ask.

Great minds, buddy; no need to apologize!

I had no idea that Draymond Green played for the Peruvian National Football Team.

Draymond is looking more and more like an ass on a daily basis.

Only in the country Qatar,
Could a rape victim find themselves behind bars,
For simply alerting a jailer.
Wait...goddammit, this could totally happen at Baylor,
Go fuck youself, Ken Starr.

This sounds incredible. Please go on!