It helps when you have Jesus and Joseph Smith on your side

Fuck anyone and everyone whose email signature is “Sent from my iPhone”

I can’t tell if his boots have straps. Curt Schilling, what say you?

Fucking brilliant.

Man, Dave really doesn’t like Texas.

Still not seeing it. Can someone gif it?

Yesterday on Deadspin.

Kelce’s “fuck it, it’s preseason” flop > Cassel’s “hey guys, can I be part of the team too!?” flop >>> Tebow

Well, if I have to wait until 2048 to make jokes, all I can say is this: fuck Jeffrey Loria

See, Miami taxpayers? Had the cost of the stadium only been $2.3 billion, the wall might have been one foot futher in and this clip might never have come into existence. Your tax dollars were clearly well-spent.

I say they stop outsourcing the annual “Why Deadspin Sucks” article to Kluwe and contract Susan.

In Drew’s defense, he got a 2140 on his retake of the SATs.

Oh. Oh, this is good.

The Rubio campaign’s downward spiral is tighter than the spiral on that “lob” of his. He’s a camp arm at best and will surely be apart of roster cuts at the end of the month.

My list of additional places to Trump so far

You brilliant bastards.

Thank you so much for pointing Roshi out. I watched it 20x without noticing. This is glorious.

“Show me boobs!”