*Camera cuts to John Clayton in his room as he plays with his ponytail laughing*

In a vacuum...

I’m heartbroken that Gilbert didn’t have the foresight to publish this rant about LeBron in comic sans.

When did the Phillies hire Hinkie as GM?

5 games for “releasing the Kraken”? Worth it.

It makes a glorious fucking screen-cap, too!

The UNCLE Drew League

Read: Drew Carey?

2 Important Questions:

LOL

I feel a combination of dread, self-loathing, and a desire to grab the nearest alcoholic beverage to me. Football season is coming...

And now I’m imagining the following glorious scenario that will never happen:

And this is already out of date...

What would happen if Hinkie were prime minister of Greece? Would he trade the Euro for 3 future second rounders and cash considerations?

He’s got “getting away from the cops” speed. Literally.

Don’t like it? GTFO

I refuse to give praise until either A) I have confirmation that this kid is under 13 or B) I have video evidence that he gave the ball to one of his sibs.

Mandatory supplemental reading

Nah, they’re only at “Let’s have OF/DH David Murphy give up 5 runs in a third of an inning” levels of desperation, currently.

Cue the John Oliver Bud Light spit take