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“See? I told you it would work!”

Yesterday when Zayat screamed “THIS IS FOR YOU!” to the fans during his victory speech, I thought he was full of shit. But now...well he’s still full of shit for supporting a sport based on animal cruelty, but he’s much more refreshing and candid than I had expected. He’s like Mark Cuban if Mark Cuban earned piles of…

American Pharoah? Well, his family tree will soon be as inbred as Cleopatra’s...

*Blatt channels inner Pitino*

Welp...how will us Clevelanders refer to this sports failure?

Now I’m not going to be able to stop picturing Eddie Murphy whenever I watch the Warriors play...

In my life as a medical student, there is a constant battle between my love of science and my constantly drowning myself in alcohol. Lately, I wasn’t sure which would win out. Thanks to this article, I now know. I saw the URL and not the picture and immediately thought, “OH! This could make bleaching my Erlenmeyers…

The graph is oversimplified, Albert. You’re visualizing the axes as though they adhere to the rules of Euclidean geometry. In reality, while this assumption is valid for the small snapshot which you are examining, treating this system in accordance with the laws of Riemannian geometry - specifically, using a spherical…

I made this exact joke before reading the rest of the comments. #IFailAtKinja

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The fact that my first instincts upon reading this comment weren’t complete dismissal and derision but rather “Oh crap...that could happen” is downright horrifying. Oh god...

Three random facts that have nothing to do with Blatter’s motives for resignation:

I’m pissing my pants at the thought of Blatter being relieved.

Tchaikovsky is a bit too high brow to be the score here. I would think The Wiggles has “Gronk” written all over it.

If you’re getting paid to goof off on Deadspin and make puns like this, I’m incredibly envious of your sinecure

Question: What is pictured below?

My 10 year old daughter Helga lost to her kilt wearing, football-headed classmate Arnold in the worst way imaginable. Her word was “Qualm.” She spelled it “Q-U-A-L...X?” WE HAD JUST GONE OVER THAT WORD THE NIGHT BEFORE! Her mistake cost me thousands of dollars in free beepers. 18 years later and I’m STILL fuming about…