Sorry but water usually comes out of the urethra.

What I like about using a water filter here in Seattle (Wonderful Water) is having ice cubes so clear that you can’t see them in the water.

I was there once so I says to the king “You take the umbrella and I will walk home” but cows were falling from trees and I had to bury myself.

I start with $40 in my wallet to use for the small sh*t and throw any ones into a jar with any ‘silver’ when I get home - there is about $300 in there now (I deposit it about every 3 months into savings). Most places do accept plastic but it costs them 25 cents per transaction, sometimes more - that just steals from…

I had that happen to me when I was driving from Montana to my new home in Raleigh, NC; it was 2:00am and I was traveling about 90 when I started to overtake a car who immediately sped up. So I parked in his blind spot (at 90 mph) and waited... soon enough we came upon a truck traveling the speed limit and the asshat…

Back in the old days (touch-tone bricks) I used to give out Dial-a-prayer and/or forward my phone to them when I did not want to be bothered.

I order mine basted, to be served on an open faced croissant so that I get to break the yoke and savor all of its golden flavor.

“Well spoken” often combined with “clean” as in someone called Obama “clean and well-spoken”. No one says that about non-black persons.

As a greyling replied:

I would like to also apologize to all those I ______ed while I was a passout drunk. I have no idea what I did but I am pretty sure it was embarrassing for all involved. I do not apologize for all the things I did as an acid-head; I was a prankster (I scotch-taped the dark hall leading to the bathroom for a room-full…

Somehow, I managed to not know who Queen was until a drunken friend danced and lip-synced to their music in his tiny apt. in 1977. I only knew their music from sports events (and I hardly ever watch any sportsball). Did I live in a bubble - yeah, I suppose since I was an acid-head and my listening leaned towards…

Unfortunately, the US only printed $10,000 bills (I got to hold one b/c my father was the executive VP of a bank celebrating its 50th anniversary) so he will have more tears for the lack of million dollar bills. The 10k bills were easier to ship around the country to balance books than the equivalent gold; they were…

When I was first introduced to weight training (60 years ago), the formula went: 3 sets of 13 reps at a weight - if you can do them, increase the weight until you can’t complete the 3 sets then keep trying until you can do the 3 sets then increase the weight. Rinse, repeat. Since I am finally getting back to basics,…

I do not normally comment on people’s looks but... I can not imagine him getting laid w/o force being involved. That is one creepy dude.

There is no term limit for lobbyists - think that through, please.

Our Vice P. calls his wife ‘mommy’ - it is nauseating just typing that.

Sock puppet for Sammy

I have played that game - it is called Car Wars. Great vid!

I feel I should blame someone that I did not know about Mitski in time to see her concert here in Seattle - Ima have to blame you, Hazel Cills.

To paraphrase Frank Zappa: I am not a woman but sometimes I wish I could say I am not a man.