But he has a moustache! It's hilarious.

Shitting himself.

The White House press release should have been one word, and it should have just read "Mortdecai."

It's not illegal when the president does it.

Yes, I'm sure that Sean O'Neal, the perpetually snarky media critic who tried to run a satirical celebrity gossip site, is just pretending to take Gawker's side.

It was a jury trial run by a judge who did everything she could to throw it— one of the jurors straight-up sexually harassed a witness and nothing was done, the judge refused to reduce a penalty that was about a hundred times higher than the average wrongful death settlement, the jurors were so ill-informed that they…

Their Molyneux interview was probably the most honest and painful interview I've ever seen in games media. Just a masterpiece.

I just don't like my news about the industry delivered in the same pipeline as video reviews of McDonald's food and updates on the hot new trends in Japanese pornography. They do some solid video game writing, but their tendency to cover everything nerd-related means that there's no real focus.

I don't know what you're talking about. Amanda Palmer would never misuse crowdfunding money.

Wow, guys, we're averaging one racist dog eating joke every five minutes! Keep up the good work.

Ahh, I love that tinny sound chip. It's not great hardware, but the weird noises it makes are incredible. Phantasy Star IV wouldn't be the same if Dark Force didn't sound like a dolphin being fed through an industrial shredder.

Shinobi 3, Streets of Rage, Golden Axe 1 and 2, Phantasy Star, Ristar, and Gunstar Heroes are all pretty bona fide classics too.

One of the Shinobi games— Revenge, I think. One of the other Shinobis has the same director as Golden Axe.

That game's difficulty curve is a mess, but man, what a setting— and I can't think of another JRPG of that era willing to go for such a hopeless and bleak tone.

…Wow.

I think David Lynch would, but he's already an Eagle Scout.

Yeah, but those of us with liberal arts degrees also get pretty sick of the "lol, you're going to work food service" jokes by about the end of our freshman year. It's uncreative and tired and kind of a shitty thing to tell someone that they wasted six years of their life.

In high school, I was in the Young Democrats, which had about 8 members, and it was literally just me and the kids I usually had lunch with. After we started meeting, the Republican kids got jealous that we had a club and decided there should be a Young Republicans too. There were about fifty of them in their club,…

I don't like this.

I'm torn between hating almost everything about this movie being made and the blatant mercenary instinct on display, and the fact that Ehrenreich was brilliant in Hail, Caesar! and deserves a star-making role.