Hmm… that conspiracy theory seems a little far-fetched. Do you have any pizza-related evidence to shore it up?

It's clever, just like you!

If it's good enough for Captain Picard, it's good enough for me!

Nah, he's a poor man's Cy Tolliver. Which… Jesus, now that I say it out loud it's really depressing.

You say that, but Left Behind was unwatchable.

My fantasies.

Well, I meant the whole phrase.

Damn opposed!

I miss her so much. The greatest columnist the Onion ever had.

Oh no, it didn't sound like that. I was just trying to be friendly.

Sweet! I finally have something in common with Dikachu besides a face full of pubic hairs!

I won't judge, man. Even if it's not my favorite, it's still a damn fine album, and I love hearing your thoughts on it. Definitely agree about the sequencing; it's their most varied album, but it's remarkably cohesive and flowing.

I actually like their most recent two better than Knife Man. People will always be my favorite, though. That album came to me at just the right time to be very, very special.

Four words in has got to be a new record for this being apparent as an Ignatiy review.

I own this album on cassette, because I drive a European sedan made in 2006 that somehow still has a tapedeck!

This also the year we lost one of the all-time great band names, and a previous entrant of this column. RIP, Andrew Jackson Jihad. I get why they changed it, but man, I'll miss that name.

Drunk and crying, usually.

I'm in NC, where our Republican governor last month demanded our public schools cut 173 million out of their budget, despite the fact that they're already underfunded, the state currently has a surplus, and we're one of the lowest in the country on per-student spending. You can bet that's going to have an impact on…

Just to critique one part of your comment: Vampire's Kiss isn't awful towards women. It's a film about an impotent misogynist who blames women for the fact that he's alone. Women are treated horribly in it, but we're never meant to admire or sympathize with Peter.

"She's essentially a fascist."