Fourth time's the charm!

Pssh, everyone knows the REAL board game that sums up the election is Monopoly, man!

Only because it was Panamanians and nukes hadn't been invented yet.

I mean, I've been compared to Sheldon on the basis of someone seeing me reading a book for a long time once and knowing that I sometimes play video games.

Oh god. I finally saw The Handmaiden last weekend and there was this 50-something sub-literate dog woman behind me who could not stop explaining the movie to her husband. And not even to help him get the twists or to keep track of characters, but to seemingly explain the concept that the bright pictures were being put…

I can't do my wuuuhrk!

Definitely bazgo.

Bane if we're lucky. Jail's more likely to put someone on the Bronson end of the Tom Hardy spectrum.

1) There's nothing critical of John Landis in this article.
2) John Landis has made some of my favorite movies and I respect the guy as an artist, but it would be hard to be too critical or mean to an artistic genius who is also, basically, a murderer.

The Bad Lieutenant remake is a masterpiece, but it's also so much its own movie that Herzog had never heard of the original. I love how it inadvertently engages with the original by turning he most Catholic movie ever made into one that argues that sin and addiction are just sicknesses and that doing good deeds and…

(Chuckles, shakes head condescendingly) Now that just isn't true.

I honestly see more Pynchon, given the boundless paranoia and cartoonish demeanor.

Not to mention that he couldn't even open the pickle jar while explaining that she was too weak and sick to open a pickle jar.

I'M STARTING FIRES EVERYWHERE is the high point of that speech, in my opinion.

I think that most of the time he just makes bullshit up, then gets halfway through, thinks, "yeah, that sounds just like what those liberal stooges would do," and forgets that he made it up by the time he's finished explaining it. He's perpetually self-indoctrinating.

Nah, Kurt Russell's a frontier West libertarian. Which is still kinda shitty, but makes a lot more sense.

I think I voted for Perot in the school election because they told us what everyone's favorite ice cream flavor was, and his was the most interesting. Rocky road, I think? I maintain that it's the best reason to have voted for him.

DeNiro is a very awkward and withdrawn guy— he always comes off like a weird loner in interviews, and has since forever.

"He spouted ANTLERS, like an ELK? He scored a TOUCHDOWN!"

I know I've beaten this drum before, but he's a legitimately fantastic actor— Ebert ranked him alongside DeNiro and Pacino. He goes big, but it's almost always in service of the character. His work in Adaptation is stunningly funny and vulnerable, and his performance in Bad Lieutenant is so viscerally captivating and…