I am way more interested to find out what happens to the nurses involved!

No. NO. Why? Literally when in obstetric nursing would you ever PUSH the baby BACK IN?!

Hey, they both like us so much they decided to stay forever, so that’s cool, right?

samantha bee is a damn national treasure, for two nations, and she can pinch her d**k between my legs any time she chooses.

feels like when my parents divorced but told us kids that everything would essentially stay the same

Thank you! Fingers crossed!

This happened at my house. That’s my big boy with a wee lil’ pal.

We call it the “cuptongue” and it refers to a state of True Davos Happiness

How’s about a chiweenie in a sombrero?

This is my wee pupple.

yes it’s not so wittle anymore. So I hold this image close because I loved this stage. Now his face is the size his body was then.

My mutt russel terrier Jax

This is Fudge. He hides food.

Not a puppy shot but here’s my previous dog who was not, in fact, Satanic.

Oh lord, he is PRECIOUS.

Will you accept adult dogs, who are equally cute?

This is my Yorkie gentleman, Ser Davos the Dunce.

Yeah, $12 in change is pretty amazing... You can put it all in a sock and beat the shit out if people.

I demand puppies AT ALL TIMES.

Please get drunk and fight the Deadspin staff.