The meta-humor in this has come full circle, as all those guys about whom your idiot buddy at the bar said "He belongs in a Key & Peele sketch" are now, in fact...excuse me for having a Keanu Reeves moment just now.

The list was an abomination from the start for the omission of dips. Chips are just the vehicle for a great dip.

Which is EXACTLY why these anti-salt and vinegar man-children need to run off and let the grownups watch football and eat. The kids table has all the goldfish, Chex mix, and Doritos you desire — go get a juice box and run along.

Kettle Chips over Salt and Vinegar? Who are you monsters?

In the case of Cool Ranch Doritos vs. Hint of Lime Tortilla chips, I would have to vote for Hit by a Car.

Where the FUCK are the Combos?

No mention of Hawkins Cheezies? This poll is a sham.

Goldfish vs Cheez-Its in Round 1? This is akin to having the Seahawks-Packers game in the Wild Card Round.

Cheez-Its vs. Goldfish is going to cause World War 3. Seriously, you're a monster for making us choose.

wtf kind of a first round match-up is Cheez-Its vs. Goldfish? Put them on opposite sides of the bracket and there's your championship game right there!

Cheez-Its vs. Goldfish is like making me choose between my kids. They each shine in their own environment. Both a handy to have around most of the time. Always miss one when it is not around. That is a tough choice out of the shoot.

Don't you see? This is an example of the entitled classes pitting us workaday slobs against each other. How can you pit Goldfish against Cheez-its? HOOOOOW?

100% correct. I love Goldfish, but they will always lose in a match-up against Cheeze-Its. It's one of the few fundamental truths of the universe.

Nnnyessss

Montgomery Clift

Did everyone forget about me?

uh, why did nobody tell me that Carl Hagelin is the reincarnation of Brahms?

Jeff Buckley

Robert Mitchum. I saw Night of the Hunter when I was like, 15, and I SWOONED.

Nevermind the inappropriateness of swooning over a goddamned murderous preacher, but. Look at this guy. Would hit it x1000