afeared?

He should get a drink with Amber Heard’s dad.

Dolly Parton is one of those rare people who, by virtue of their personality alone, can get away with wearing or doing pretty much whatever she wants. No matter how tacky your brain knows her get up is, your heart just always completely accepts that she looks wonderful. (Also, the highlight of my dad's life was…

I don’t think at this age they understand how permanent death is. They probably think you go to heaven and ride unicorns and eat candy all day. Also: I’m never having kids.

“SHE IS THE DOWNFALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY”, he cries into his hands full of semen

I have never felt pain quite like the pain of giant veiny-blue engorged breasts.

1) not for 20 years, now, but I do visit my mother. It makes her happy. Usually.

What’s the big deal? It’s not like anyone will base their medical decisions on what a celebrity best known for their sex appeal does. I mean, no one would take medical advice from a Playboy model over a doctor, right?

You just miss the perfect title and the obvious pun for the album;

And I really wonder what justification they have for redacting everything.

No, it’s a typo AND bad grammar. It should still be you’re.

I hope you’re happy. This article broke fanfiction.net, you know.

But will it be ironic? Do you think?

I just turned 30. And it makes me very sad that I’m considered an old now. Very very very sad. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to throw on the first Now that’s what I call music while I flip through a coffin catalogue. Do we think a white coffin is tacky? I’ve got a lot of decisions to make.

That reminds me of a Simpsons episode (what doesn’t?) where I think Lisa’s teacher is convinced Lisa forged Homer’s signature. She has Homer come in to sign his name and realizes he has the ridiculous handwriting of a child.

Oh God there is internet proof of my love of Savage Garden. I wrote a Mary Sue fanfic before I knew what a Mary Sue was. I had just entered my Anne Rice phase and made Darren and Daniel vampire and sat in 1880s Paris and Darren fell in love with me and of course I used my real name. The Backstreet Boys were in it as…

1-D look like they would call up and go:

Gonna look weird when they both pretend to fall at the same time.