This is a well-crafted list of bullshit excuses. Every garbage “apology” borrows heavily from this card; well done!

The Wire is only 5 HBO seasons, which is 60 episodes. DS9 had nearly 3x as many - 176 episodes, which (even given the shorter runtime for DS9) is a pretty massive difference.

Are we totally sure that this was an Indians fan, and not Marty Brennaman?

You’re really neglecting the “getting drunk, then microwaving in a lake of Sriracha” application. It seems to work better for me with canned beans.

Trout named the band Sha Na Na... They did not want to be called that.

And Blackjack! And hookers! Matter of fact - forget the list!

Meanwhile, you can throw a baseball at someone at 95MPH with impunity.

Not a Jays fan, but honestly, the interaction at the plate with Suzuki was VERY reasonable. It seemed like Kurt basically said, “Hey man, you’re a dick,” and then Joey Bats responded with, “Yeah, my bad.” Neither one of those 2 guys seemed upset afterward.

Yeah, you’re not frightened now - but what happens once Trout matures and starts taking ALL the WAR from the West Coast?

Mantle and Mays aren’t that dissimilar, are they?

Effectively Wild has so many great Trout questions. “What would happen if Manfred said Trout was only allowed one swing per PA?” “How much weight would Trout have to gain in the offseason for the Angels to release him?”

*1.5

Goodell’s comments are so ridiculously hypocritical that it’s difficult to believe it actually happened.

It’s pretty disturbing that legislation named “Candace’s Law” was passed in the aftermath.

Yes, you’re right. I think that Scott Rolen erred when he decided to not be as good as Mike Schmidt. So that’s why Larry Bowa and Dallas Green saw fit to run him out of town.

The most attractive thing about this comment was the fact that you spelled “ogle” correctly.

Maybe not - but they make a helluva good chicken.

Legit question - Purdue can’t crack that list? I would have figured that Purdue would be higher than (at minimum) Iowa, and probably MSU as well. Student body of 40k, and only about 130 miles away from Chicago. Plus, many of those students are from “The Region” in NW Indiana (and, as such, consider themselves to be…

Just a differing opinion here: you’re dead. You earned money, and you lived your life, and then you died.

THAT is what Marty Brennaman has been asking for - swing the bat! He’s sick and tired of Votto taking pitches.