Blake Griffin worked hard all off-season and extended his range to the top of the dong.

"He shoots wildly from the top of the dong! Seemed a bit premature to me. He's really struggling to get it in tonight."

No one gets more pleasure from this article than Kelly's upper lip.

And between 1941-1945, every basketball player shot like Javaris Crittenton.

My wife says the same thing to her girlfriends at wine club.

This guy could stand to learn a lot from another legendary bruin, Winnie the Pooh.
Because if Winnie The Pooh as taught us anything, it's that you don't need to solicit Romanian chicks on twitter to get to the honey pot; you just have to rock an ill-fitting polo shirt and no goddam pants.

I originally thought "Kiss" was a typo, but changed my mind once I found out that Hernandez was unsuccessful.

Fuck Eric Striker. He's a linebacker on a D-I football team. What does he know about the plight of people who have to pay someone to be their friend?

I pledged SAE in college b/c after just playing sports in high school I had no fucking clue about life. I was drawn to their True Gentleman creed and thought "Man, that's how I try to act so I'll join these guys."

it's not unusual for people to go missing in Mexico.

At least he went actually blindfolded, unlike the first dunk in this clip.

"Shit, I could have done that!"

I've never seen Stevie Wonder miss a windmill dunk.

Man, you guys are still pushing this gay agenda?

portly Bulls fan

In some regards, he's still Head & Shoulders above others in the league.

"Dude, she totally boned me!"
- that guy's lung, after being punctured

Ugh you sound like Mr. Mahler, he's always telling me I have to push myself harder. I married a jock, I should've seen this coming. Last time I went running, I pushed myself so hard I peed in my pants. Called him up at work to tell him...and he was proud.