"You fat ass! You're a disgrace to New England!" Vince Wilfork will yell in future dreams, since he can't actually fit into Fenway Park.

(Afraid to say anything out of left field. Only pun I could think of).

Given his injured recent past, the first tentative date is the second home game.

But it's New York, man. New York!

This now replaces the old joke about how many Alabama fans it takes to screw in a light bulb.

The more I think about it, it was a shitty move by him. He was more interested in entertaining the guys who wanted to go, hoping I'd be willing to join in. But he's family, so he's forgiven. Nobody died, except maybe the dreams of a few girls who said they were stripping to pay for college. My brother is a terrible…

The really fun part in all this is I was living 100 miles away at the time. I had to fight Friday afternoon traffic and bust ass to get there because we went to a ballgame first. Wondering now why I even bothered.

It was a weird group dynamic. The whole thing felt forced, which is partly why I wasn't comfortable from the start.

Malice in Mao's Palace.

Eh, still more tactful than his free-throw shooting.

Ha. I seriously doubt he felt bad. As I was walking away, he was already halfway in saying, "Are you sure we can't make you stay?"

I have been reluctant guy. One of my brothers threw my bachelor party, and the one request I had was to not go to a strip club. It was just not my thing. So, of course he took me and the other five or six guys in the group to one. We got to the door, and I just did not want to go in. My brother said, "Are you sure?…

That really hit home.

Mid-August 1981, my first MLB game, Montreal at Pittsburgh. Andre Dawson hit a grand slam. This is nice.

Yes!

"Whatever company the Eagles contracted to make their official 2015 team calendar..."

The hell is Tinker Bell doing on an NBA court?

Gronk's rules of dodgeball: Dodge, dive, drink, dip, duck, drink, dodge, drink, drink, doggie and dodge.

Why can't this happen to Clark Kellogg?