“Hey Pete, what’re my chances of beating this cancer?”

I think this rant actually qualifies as three delegates for Donald Trump.

eh, mick was probably drunk tho

For whatever it’s worth, St. Peter, Minnesota is literally the worst place I’ve ever been. Even a college named Gustavus Adolphus can’t save it.

Listen, you can’t have 50 luxury boxes AND functional turf. Corners had to be cut somewhere, and when you’re watching half a dozen players tear their ACL on a beautiful 62" 4k display, set in solid oak, from the comfort of a single source leather recliner, sipping pinot from the vineyard on the roof of Levis stadium,…

Sometimes I’ll drop a bit of food and it’ll roll down my chest and bounce off the couch and then come to a rest on the carpet and my muscles will twitch like I’m gonna grab it before I forget about it but then I go slack and I keep eating the quesalupa because nothing matters.

BUT HOW DOES THIS SUPPORT THE NARRATIVE??

Swing and a miss

“I have things, Medrawt. Can you alter me?”

Peyton Manning, to equipment manager: Are you new? The number’s right but the name is ‘Manning’, not ‘Oops’.

i can see why sheryl crow was into this guy

I’ve argued that, actually, Kanye’s a better lyricist than Kendrick Lamar.

Rape is bad. Even when it happens to rapists. We shouldn’t joke about it, and we should be ashamed at the conditions in our prison system. Allowing it to happen is beneath our dignity, even if Cosby completely deserves it.

“No, I don’t believe the Rams offense existed,” Hayes said last month. “Not even a little bit. With these players, it’s crazy because man has never seen the Rams offense, we can agree on that, right? But they know exactly how to put an offense together? I believe there is more of a chance you will find a team in L.A.…

Nodding intensifies

Deadspin is Fox News, and the Cardinals are Obama.

That loss Stings a little bit more now.