"(willful ignorance of mid-tier modern pop-rock musician)"
"(cranky about singer-songwriter having a flawed voice)"
"ironic"
"millennial"
"hipster"

I'm certain that was SNL's notoriously muddy stage audio. His voice is far richer than that. The people in the booth were clearly pulling down the vocals into the instruments, and should have better calibrated the EQ to his baritone croon.

He's Cat Stevens mixed with Randy Newman at his most bitterly wry.

You sound upset.

They want you to renounce Amazon and Hulu and pledge your devotion to Netflix and Netflix alone. Thou shalt have no other streaming video service before it.

Nah, that's what they said about Ben Affleck. Pitt has been more than capable of carrying movies in the past; lately, I think he's gotten lazier as boredom has set in.

Was he banned, or did he self-deport?

I still think Russell is actually Him, and Gunn's been fucking with us. Alternatively, we don't yet know who Stallone is supposed to be in this.

Whoa, guys, looks like we got a very cool teenager on our hands here

I'm quietly hoping the "Ego" thing is a big fake-out. They knew everyone would be speculating on it, so they shot that scene to dupe the Comic Con audience. If I remember correctly, that footage didn't even match what you see in this trailer of Russell revealing himself as Quill's dad.

You should see some of the dumb fucks they've got on the West Coast, though.

Get a load of this fuckin' guy, who thinks $500 will get you a hotel room "for [a] few weeks."

Oh shit, Vince Kelly! You cracked the fuckin' code!

Obviously it's not about the stupid show, it's about the films it celebrates. But how many people in Oklahoma saw Hidden Figures or Moonlight? Did anyone in Wyoming even hear of Toni Erdmann? Did even one theater in West Texas actually show the West Texas-based Hell or High Water? Could any cinemas in those places…

Middle America never watches the Oscars, Middle America hates and shuns culture outside of its familiar safe zones, Middle America stays within its predisposed boundaries. Major Cities openly fuss about how to connect with Middle America. Middle America accuses Major Cities of living in a "Bubble."

Like I'd trust a Foxworthy to tell me what chicken's worthy.

Letting Robert Evans abruptly recast his film and not giving Caridi something else to do after ousting him from the part of Sonny.

I remember when this happened. The Academy and the studios seemed weirdly gung-ho about taking him down, even after learning all the real pirating had been done by Sprague. Caridi's public responses amounted to, "Please, I'm just an old man! Everyone stop yelling at me, I am so very old."

Milo is not "your boy," nor are you his. You're a gristly morsel for him to feed his remorseless ego. He can chew you up or discard you with equal effortlessness.

I'm sorry, the position has already been given to Chris Hardwick.