Were any of them even jokes? Could they even be construed as setups to jokes? They just seemed like observations of inconsequential occurrences, devoid of any context to assure optimal blandness.

Look at you motherfuckers. Y'all forgot about Caleb.

They're dangling the Popeye movie in front of him. "If you make us a little more money, maaaaybe we'll let you have it!"

After the reaction they got to the last "thigh gap" article, there's no way this wasn't them intentionally fucking with us.

I never knew that about her daughter. That's tragic, and so heartbreaking that she passed without ever getting the truth, or at least some satisfaction from the authorities.

By "bizarre" do you mean "idiotic?"

You make it sound as though he's some yokel who, up until recently, is typically used to being paid in Magic Beans.

Yeah, Marvel's TV division pays dick. It's a solid paycheck, but nobody's buying a mansion in the hills with it. The hope for most of the actors is 1) getting called up to The Bigs for a Marvel Studios movie, where the paychecks have been getting substantially more generous, and/or 2) Springboarding into a more…

If a girlfriend ever gave me a mix with anything from Rocky Horror on it, that'd be the surest route for her to become my ex-girlfriend.

Sir Mix-A-Lot. The project was called Subset.

Welp, now you'll need to get whatever the hell the NX is.

None of the comments from this account ever succeed at being either funny or dog-like. This gimmick stinks.

Frankly, only ever referring to it as "the Gawker stuff" is a real chickenshit mealy-mouthed way to try to broach the subject in the first place. "Hey, do you want to talk about that… thing? Y'know, all that, uh, stuff that's going on. That whole thing?"

No, the original push for Donald Glover was in 2010. Miles Morales didn't debut until 2011. Glover was asking to be considered for Peter Parker, end of story.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, here's Blevins to provide a half-competent explanation of the joke.

You've been out in the sun too long, Raisin.

I may be mistaken. I thought there was some ties to the X-Men franchise, but I may be conflating Spartax with the Shi'ar.

Except J'son is boring and may or may not be held under option at FOX (and Gunn is on record saying he's definitely not Quill's dad), and Starfox is basically a fucking rapist.

Was it ever confirmed that Marvel Studios can't get Kang? They may just not have a desire to use him. Feige could be all sipping his latte and telling Whedon, "Um, actually, Kang is more of a Phase Five villain."

Not anymore you can't.