I'm sure Tom Cruise was eagerly looking forward to it.

Going by his accounts from If Chins Could Kill, a lot of his chances at big breaks would come down to a choice for the producers, deciding between seasoned genre actor Bruce, or some underwear model/DiCaprio entourage member. And they'd always go with the model.

Having their smoldering wreckage bought up by Enix has ensured they'll never be the same.

A Movie Starring Eric Roberts!?!

It failed for SquareSoft.

I feel as though I have seen this article written at least a dozen times before.

That actually managed to be worse than I imagined.

Lately I've seen Rhymefeast on a bunch of subway ads for Kenneth Cole, wearing some chunky parka and a massive leather backpack. They're using him as part of the clothing brand's "The Courageous Class" campaign, where "inspirational" people wear Kenneth Cole stuff (the actual slogan is "Look Good, For Good"), and thus…

*Spike Lee angrily retweets the menu for Lobsterfest*

I know you've got a little life in you yet, Internet.

Does Big-Top Pee Wee not count as a no-Tim-Burton Tim Burton film?

Was… was that intended as a negative or a positive observation?

It comes out in the performances. The actor doesn't convey the same kind of discomfort and disgust in reacting to some greenscreen shit as they do after having a slimy prop eyeball lodged in their mouth for 6 takes. It's the difference between Liam Neeson blandly talking to CGI Jar-Jars and Wattos, and Mark Hamill…

Yeah, but cheap CGI doesn't torment the actors and leave them sticky and smelling like a fly trap for days. That is the true nature of the Evil Dead movies.

I like how you gave him the .Bizness.

I have enjoyed reading this on Internet.

I gotta heartily disagree with that. The nature of the series was always flimsy latex and gallons of Karo Syrup mixed with red dye and Coffeemate. It's more that the CGI suits the nature of efficient television production, and Starz Channel's post-Spartacus checklist for cheap thrills.

Bruce wrote about his resentment of the car in detail in If Chins Could Kill. Raimi definitely still has the original Delta 88 and will use it as much as he can, to the point where repairs/maintenance for the car are line items on the budgets for nearly every one of his films.

The practical effects at least had a gritty in-the-moment charm. You appreciate the time and effort that goes into sculpting a fake head, filling it with goo and then making it burst right on an underpaid nobody's face. The immediacy of an actor reacting to a tangible prop goes a long way to getting you invested.

COLTON NEEDS BRACES