I'd burn the shirt, but I fear it would unleash the unholy terrors bound within it by MacFarlane's accursed seal.

I detest both Seth MacFarlane and American Dad. What do I win?

It's a thing everywhere. All over the world.

Haters gonna make credible arguments, dogg.

His reasons for disowning it were pretty specious, to boot. It's not that the phrase was ever inaccurate in its original description and application; the problem was that it was being too widely applied to things that often didn't warrant it. (I even remember a pre-Dissolve listicle on this very site had the gall to…

It's all a matter of how willing you are to sub.

I got yer burgeoning feminist werewolf sub-genre right here, toots!

No way, man, no way. Phoebe was practically the conscience of the group. Maybe the only truly redeemable Friend of all the Friends on Friends.

I remember that. It was also supposed to focus on the Castlevania III storyline, and would have been an animated film. Apparently it fell apart in development.

What if the hit situaton comady "Frends" was modarn? Imagen it.

It's 2015! Stop talking about goddamn Friends, Internet!

I'm okay with this, Internet.

I didn't realize people spend more time on Uproxx than the few seconds it takes to think, "Ugh, this was a link to Uproxx?" and then close the tab.

Given all the sparkly shit on the screen behind him, the vibe I got is more like Bono, circa Zoo TV.

Ian Malcolm looks like he's a badass from the Internet.

Thus explaining the quantum spatial mechanics of being everything to everyone.

I'd seriously doubted that anyone could properly adapt that novel. But I guess they pulled it out!

Perhaps this will finally eclipse his earlier successes.

The secret to Ed Burns' "Success": Live every day like it's still 1995.

"Señor Smith no es macho; es solamente un borracho."