"We need to reboot the Bob Hoskins Cinematic Universe!"

I know it's not cool to give the guy any credence, but Kevin Smith was right. Bruce Willis is a big angst-ridden twerp.

I just looked it up. 28 seconds in, just past the whole preamble and stilted greetings, and the video practically screams at you, "Oh boy, this is going to go very badly!"

Things were just fine until you showed up, Internet!

Did anyone else click on this and think, "Wait, was there some kind of implication about dog-dick in Teen Wolf?"

Mythologizing yourself ain't cheap!

Fucking Grimm is still going on?

Downvoted. You monster.

He was just in there for the fresh air.

I have to stridently disagree with this. Eisenberg was pretty good in Adventureland, but Stewart's performance/character was a huge drag on the story.

Right! Shit, I knew I was forgetting something. The Sanders gag was based on the poorly kept secret that Letterman was stringing Jon along with promises of being heir apparent.

There's a lot of specious conjecture about Stewart's early years. As someone who has actual, clear memories of following his pre-TDS career, I have to correct your depiction here: Jon was actually a very respected comedian (albeit a bad actor) in the years leading up to taking over TDS.

I get your joke, and yet I still have a strong urge to tell you to go back to your Trump rally.

On bad nights, he lets Mike Yard appear in both halves.

You're forgetting the 70% of film, television, video game, book and menswear advertisements that shrilly demand, "TELL ME NOW / AND SHOW ME HOW / TO UNDERSTAND / WHAT MAKES A GOOOOOOD MAAAAAAAAAAAAN"

I will never, ever hate this song. Sure, it's objectively not a good song. It's flat and treacly and the lyrics were clearly written in the limo on the way to the studio, between bumps of coke. (Although worse songs have been written with far more effort.)

Yer bit wasn't even worth a "Yes," let alone the "and!"

That was Kirk Cameron. That schmuck's not even in Cage's league, man.

And Helen Mirren is apparently playing Patricia Clarkson.

This isn't anything, Duplass Brothers!