I disagree, Internet!

And despite all the strange elaborate stories we used to spread around the schoolyard in the early 90s, Pee Wee wasn't really a pedophile. His first arrest was just for jerking it in a porno theater while watching a plain ol' adult film, which is what you're supposed to do in a porno theater. Frankly, it would be…

And, to bring it all full circle: One of Michael Keaton's first jobs in TV was as a production assistant on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

It was produced by Ben Folds, featured lyrics by Folds and (on at least one song) Nick Hornby, and included guest vocals by Aimee Mann, Joe Jackson, Kim Richey and others. If you ask me, it was as good as it damn well oughta be.

That's what always irked me about the original. The anger is right there in the lyrics: "You'll never do 'what common people do.' You'll never fail like common people — you'll never watch watch your life slide out of view, and dance and drink and screw, because there's nothing else to do." Just reading the lyrics, I…

Almost everything on that album is great, save for the "Henry Rollins Reminds Everyone He's Got Aaaangry Opinions" duet.

"We Love Playing House, And You Should Too!"

I was aware of him after a friend of mine had the miserable job of editing a no-budget movie that Ostrovsky co-starred in. The flick is a godawful attempt to cash in on Hangover-style bro comedies, with The Fat Jew playing a combination of the Galifianakis and Bradley Cooper roles — fat and obnoxious, but somehow also…

It existed at least as far back as the 40s!

'Sup, fellow vaguely hipsterish gothamite.

That's not gonna be good for business.

U r rite.

Man, I wish I were as smart as a janitor. What with all the Howard Zinn quoting, the emotional dueling with damaged-but-brilliant psychologists, and dating Minnie Driver in her prime. Must be a pretty sweet gig, if the movies are to be believed.

That's The New Yorker.

You seem pretty angry, for a doctor.

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach: all the goddamn vampires.

You kidding? That dude looks ghoulish just standing alone with a bag of Doritos.

I strongly feel that the title of this Newswire should be "…a teenage medium, as if that's a real thing."

Given that the DVD cover art consisted of Keaton's goofy mug behind a big ol' newspaper, I can understand how one would make that mistake.

Disagreed. His segments (both in-studio and out in the field) almost never land for me; often it's hard to tell if that's because the subjects just aren't strong enough, or if Klepper simply can't sell it. I actually don't doubt that Klepper is generally a fine comedic performer — I was actually amused by a bank…