All the nerds below are all gushing about how they want to see an actual Weird Al biopic. Personally, I would rather watch a feature length movie of Patton Oswalt as Doctor Demento. Especially if it covers his two-year child molesting spree throughout the American Southwest.

Completely true story: Minter was my little sister's internet boyfriend for a little while, years ago. He used to have a really deep-rooted obsession with Batman, and at one point harassed me via an AIM conversation that included his threat, "I will rip your scrote off." I still don't quite know why he was harassing…

I prefer to remain cautiously optimICE-tic.

Here's your headline: "Bunnies Bite Breslin. Breslin Bleeds Badly."

Raimi's equivalent of JJ? That'd probably be Rob "I want to see skeletons pulling naked girls in chains" Tapert, producer of the Evil Dead movies.

What jive-ass sushi joints are you eating at, Catching?

Obviously. Otherwise that statement would have been saturated with far more cursing. And weeping, gnashing of teeth, and rending of garments.

Whatever it is you're trying to do, Begley, you're trying much too hard and showing nothing for it. This is the AV Club, not a Something Awful features column.

Hey, go easy on him. He's just a baby!

Let's get real: Rum 'n' Coke is my standard pallin' around drink, and even I know I'm a big bitch for it. Drinking rum straight would sting my delicate, valuable throat, and I need these pipes for karaoke (unless I'm putting on my Tom Waits impression).

Anytime, Jeereg. Spontaneous references to obscure internet curiosities is my stock in trade.

We need a new Mario game. One where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest of the game you try and push down that sick feeling in your stomach that she's "damaged goods" — a concept detailed again and again in the profoundly sex-negative instruction booklet.

What luck! There's a french fry stuck in my beard!

HO! HO! Oh, Bob Dylan.
Bob Dylan, you are just incorrigible.

They don't like to talk about it with people who haven't paid to learn it. That's what goes "against their religious beliefs"—not collecting money for their religious beliefs.

Let's be honest here. Who actually thought that an Astroboy movie would make money? How would a property have a chance when it hasn't been relevant to kids in god damned decades? It was doomed no matter when it opened.

If J. G. Ballard ain't dead, his career sure is.

Hey

It's a scene from Buffalo 66 JEEZ

God, but the song "Reasons" makes my heart ache.