It’s a joke, as the “pumpkin seed story” was probably the freakiest poop story you’ve ever heard. As I recall, a lady ate one or two pounds of pumpkin seeds, and they came out . . . all at once, along with everything else that was backed in behind it.

Still no scarier Jez story than the pumpkin seed story.

Maybe you should have also tried wearing pants

Joker is a secret Cloverfield movie. 

RDR2 or Animal Crossing should’ve been in here instead of FE. Love that game but the fishing mini-game was, dare I say it, pretty “shallow.”

I liked fishing in RDR2, but I also hated fishing in RDR2. My controller and my palm also very much hated it.

Apropos of this, I will be tucking into Mexican food and tuning into Smackdown on FOX tonight, for the first time since high school when it would air before Star Trek: Voyager.

AEW was a fun show, but NXT’s in-ring product and match quality blew AEW out of the water.

I used to, but then my doctor told me it was taking too many years off my life, so I had to give it up. Now I just drink a handle of whisky a day. It’s healthier in every way.

Really starting to think that Batman: The Animated Series is the best representation of Batman.

Eh. As long as he’s not holding Rick and Morty up as a genius paean to the misunderstood value of nihilism that only true intellectuals can fully appreciate, I’m down. I kinda dig the show myself, but I’ve never felt the need to storm a McDonald’s for Szechuan sauce, nor do I think I’m particularly erudite for…

He looks like he’s trying to sneak into a soccer game in Iran.

There’s absolutely zero reason to believe this is anyone other than Geoff Cameron, who is an idiot. Also, it’s extremely Good and Normal that he knows that the official merch of the President of the United States is the opposite of anti-fascist stuff.

Because the Lollipop Guild is full, short stack.

College faculty member here. While completely inappropriate and extremely unsettling, it pains me to say that I am not surprised by Stallman’s comments and behavior. People who work in academia often lead very microcosmic lives. Especially at the post-secondary level. Some are considered experts and even pioneers in…

Starter money is reserved for studs like Case Keenum and Ryan Tannehill.

Dummy. Everyone knows the only way to stop Romelu Lukaku is to hire Jose Mourinho to coach him.

That’s nothing! I dressed up as a skinny dork with a lazy eye, ill-fitting clothes, thick glasses and an already receding hairl{/bursts in to tears, flees room}

Your partner must be disappointed. 

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”