I used to, but then my doctor told me it was taking too many years off my life, so I had to give it up. Now I just drink a handle of whisky a day. It’s healthier in every way.

Really starting to think that Batman: The Animated Series is the best representation of Batman.

Eh. As long as he’s not holding Rick and Morty up as a genius paean to the misunderstood value of nihilism that only true intellectuals can fully appreciate, I’m down. I kinda dig the show myself, but I’ve never felt the need to storm a McDonald’s for Szechuan sauce, nor do I think I’m particularly erudite for…

He looks like he’s trying to sneak into a soccer game in Iran.

There’s absolutely zero reason to believe this is anyone other than Geoff Cameron, who is an idiot. Also, it’s extremely Good and Normal that he knows that the official merch of the President of the United States is the opposite of anti-fascist stuff.

Because the Lollipop Guild is full, short stack.

College faculty member here. While completely inappropriate and extremely unsettling, it pains me to say that I am not surprised by Stallman’s comments and behavior. People who work in academia often lead very microcosmic lives. Especially at the post-secondary level. Some are considered experts and even pioneers in…

Starter money is reserved for studs like Case Keenum and Ryan Tannehill.

Dummy. Everyone knows the only way to stop Romelu Lukaku is to hire Jose Mourinho to coach him.

That’s nothing! I dressed up as a skinny dork with a lazy eye, ill-fitting clothes, thick glasses and an already receding hairl{/bursts in to tears, flees room}

Your partner must be disappointed. 

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Not only are they invited, but they’re going whether they want to or not.

Being a homophobic/transphobic/racist wrestling fan must be the hardest thing on the planet to be. Like, how do you enjoy literally anything?

It just sounds like she’s a woman, married to a mega-celebrity, who’s normally tired of having to talk to fucking TMZ every time she’s in public, but especially so since her husband just almost fucking died. But nah, probably just some female-on-female jealousy.

Taking shots and getting hammered is what got us into this mess, man.

Based on my years playing hockey....ever since beer and vicarious living was invented.

As someone who really used to love WoW, I cant even imagine doing all that again...  

“You turn the page.  You get mad on the internet.  You turn the page.  You get mad on the internet.  You turn the page.  You get mad on the internet.”

It clearly says “laurel”.