Uh, yes. I know that.

And you would know because you're an asshole?

The Last Waltz version is better.

You can be addicted to exercise.

Kristen Wiig just flew up to the top of the cool list.

Oh don't get me started on the injustices of racism in the workplace. I actually quit a 4 year job after a client made derogatory remarks about Mexicans not knowing that both I and my coworker at the table are Mexican-American. She was an abusive alcoholic and she was drunk at the time. Still, she's the client who…

Hi, Kristl. Mexican-American here from Brownsville, Texas. I understand from your explanation what you are trying to say. I think my problem with it is that you are catering to racists when you refuse to use the word Mexican because you become complicit in imbuing the word with negativity when there should be none.

My mom told me there was no Santa, too. She said Santa was the spirit of the holidays, but he wasn't a real guy. Still, before she told me I remember being confused about why I didn't get the stuff I told the Santa at the mall I wanted.

Do you guys know how many of our civil liberties President Obama has violated in his term? Why, the day this story was published, he signed a bill into law that says U.S. citizens can be indefinitely detained without trial if they are suspected of having terrorist sympathies. To hear you talk, over and over again,…

Yes, I would love to hear them making these arguments when they were kids. It's one thing for adults to go without toys when they can't afford them. It's another for kids who have, like you said, one or two opportunities a year to feel like the rest of their friends at school who get things all year long.

I'm sorry, Aunt Marie, but dark meat turkey tastes fucking awesome. Obviously giblet gravy makes it über awesome.

Strangely, my aunt looks like Natalie Wood, too. She's my mom's twin sister, but my aunt looks more like Natalie Wood than my mom. (Different eyes.) I don't have a pic of my aunt to post, though, but Natalie Wood is of special interest to me for this reason. I feel like I'm looking at my aunt in the 60's when I look…

I'm confused how an open marriage has serial cheating. I know, I know. There are different kinds of open marriages and couples can forbid each other from, say, sleeping around without prior consent. But in the end, if you have an open marriage, you are, by definition, okay with your spouse sleeping with other people.…

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Actually, women who question the existence of sexual harassment are probably decidedly not that cute.

I'm sure everyone having sex in their movies is married and not using birth control, so it's alright.

That looked exactly as I imagined and not at all exciting.

Sorry wrong video on previous reply.

[tinypic.com]

Richard Dreyfuss