It's Sofia. Don't ban me, neither.

Most of my friends don't listen to their voicemail. They just call me back and say, "What did you want?" making me repeat the whole fucking thing again. I HATE that. So, now I mostly don't leave voicemails.

Center myself always.

Because, after his second appearance, Oprah admitted she shouldn't have chastised him on national TV. She invited him to come back on the show and it never happened, allegedly because of scheduling conflicts. She ended up phoning him privately to apologize. I'd like to see her eat crow on that one on national TV.

In my suburb? Ha. As if the Oprah broadcast was different in "my suburb." Actually in the mid to late 90's I lived in New York City, so yeah. I've still never heard of her.

Yeah, I know. But that was shortly after the whole debacle. I'd watch it if he came on again.

The fact that everyone on this page is trying to outdo each others' nerdiness is proof that, in this day and age, it is in fact very cool to claim oneself a nerd.

I don't understand. She smoked some pot (I don't buy that salvia bullshit) and suddenly she's Michael Jackson and Anna Nicole Smith? Is it me or is Billy Ray trying to garner attention by creating drama where there is none? Very suspect.

I think it's weird that I never even heard of this woman and Oprah found it so important to set the record straight. Who cares?

Sports writers spotting acrylic nails on TV was where the trajectory of man began its steady decline.

They don't call 'em saltwater Mexicans for nothing.

When I was fifteen, I dated a 21 year old. Then I dated a 20 year old.

@Borborygm: yeah. no. that's not true.

@Miss_Teacher: everything you said is exactly right.

5. Live such a bad ass life that the subsequent press coverage of all your accomplishments pushes these search results way down to the bottom.

Being that he's male, I'm sure he deserved it.

@videobeagle: yeah over-cumining is an expressway to heartburn.

If the worst person my daughter wanted to be like was some overprivileged white girl with wannabe punk makeup, I'd be thrilled.

@Nightwriter: Sadly, strip clubs are universal.

Where will they fit them all?