I’m a lifelong fan of her and I never realized- her and Gregg Allmann... TWINS! Same energy too.

PSA- please don’t make us have to sift through stories of d-list has beens to get to the meat. No one cares if you saw the drummer of Third Eye Blind at Baskin Robbins.

Celebrities closing down stores should be illegal. Fuck you. Shop online assholes.

I saw Malia Obama in line at a sushi restaurant waiting ahead of me for her takeout. I wasn’t going to say anything (I never talk or stare at celebrities) but the girl at the register said “oh my God you’re Obama’s girl!”. So then the formalities were evaporated so I looked at her and said “I miss your dad. Can’t he…

There is an equally annoying girl here in Austin who successfully started a business selling... the same crap you get from Oriental Trading but 6x more expensive and packaged as a white girl’s ‘gram dream and now she’s rich. I wonder if this one is trying to do the same?

Are you typing that from the city where homeless people shit on the sidewalk, giant rats carry pizza down the sidewalk, fancy restaurants have questionably hygiene, there is a line of grumpy people for everything, and everything is just fucking disgusting and dirty? Can’t wait to never go back there.

Is it? You can totally drink on Metro North.

My thoughts exactly.

Buzzfeed has ruined a whole generation of people who need to be EXTRA about everything. So glad I grew up where prom proposals went like this: hey do you ahve a prom date yet? Wanna come with me? K cool. And my husband asked me to marry him sans ring during a cabin trip to the woods NOT BECAUSE HE PLANNED IT FOR THE…

I am so fucking done with the Instagram generation. Sure, they are out of the way, but here in Austin, there are Instagram playgrounds popping up all voer the city. The “museum” of Pizza, The “art” of Ice Cream. No. Enough with the thirst grab photos.

I will give her my two kidneys, my eyeballs, my newly rhinoplastied nose and whatever the hell she wants out of my non-RBG body. 

My body thinks it should attack and destroy its own thyroid why the fuck would I trust that bitch with something as dangerous as birth? No, my body really doesn’t know best.

I feel you. My own brother, a University of Chicago MB graduate, went from woke as fuck to Trump apologist. To telling me to lighten up after my mom made an awful racist joke and I told her, very sweetly, “mommy, please don’s say that it’s not funny it’s painful to many people” and that snowflakes are what’s wrong…

You should see that being progressive looks like in Texas. It’s glory. I’ve been to an episcopal church that has Jesus playing electric guitar magnets, a list of every child shot in a school shooting at the door, gay priests, a female priest who gave mass for the Women’s March wearing a pussy hat... Wendy Davis is a…

I moved here a year ago. Texas democrats inspire the fuck out of me. We are proud, we are active, we are unapologetic, and we don’t give up. I’m so tired of the whole “Texas sucks” bullshit. Texas is an amazing state with amazing people and also our Prince Who Was Promised dropped an f-bom in his concession speech.

Happy to leave. 

No. Fuck that. I moved to Texas a year ago and suddenly it hit me. America sucks. Any bullshit that comes out of Texas has already come out of every other state including the holier than thou Northeast, where I lived for 17 years. Texas is real, working here is fun because everyone curses and is super relaxed and…

Get the Sephora PLAY subscription. The sizes are decent and the novelty of the products will make you want to put some effort in! Even if it’s an extra 30 seconds to apply that eyebrow gel, it makes a world of a difference to always have something new and it’s only $10 a month. And get some fancy motorcycle boots from…

“Rebecca’s vagina and the ways it ensnared, bewitched, and left for dead everything around it” is what I aspire to in life. 

I drank from a street fountain in Spain that was a large lion and besides being beautiful and sublime it was the best water I ever tasted.