Most of my closest friends through my entire life have been women, and I’ve never been accused of any kind of sexual impropriety. Even among famous celebrities, the men accused are a fraction of the whole. The problem is you.

Got it! You support the right of women to make their own sexual choices and to have full bodily autonomy... so long as they’re the choices you agree with. SO FEMINIST.

Social media definitely became performative with its grieving of famous dead people. A lot of canned “so sad to hear” and “thoughts and prayers” over the years. People got mad if someone well-known didn’t mention about another known person’s death on Twitter or Instagram.

I’m going full devil’s advocate here. I was never really into the original Dumbo that much, and baby elephant looks cute. Keaton looks like he’ll be a great fit for the ringmaster role. And, most crucially, no Depp AFAWK. 

Thoughts and prayers for all the disappointed Republicans & evangelicals who were really, really hoping she’d die so Trump could nominate another sexual predator to the SCOTUS.

Did they bring enough booze and food for everyone on the car? In my limited experience with NOLA, they would have served the commuters first.

as someone who was close to and went to college with (before she started pulling shit like this) the birthday girl for years, let me just clarify: this was as staged as it gets. One of the friends is trying to start an event company and this was a stunt for publicity. Thank you, next.

OK, so black guys cooking out at a park? Call 911. Bunch of white girls commandeering part of a subway car to throw a party, annoy everyone else, and then leave a mess and not so much as the Transit Authority hops on to tell them to knock that shit off and clean up their crap. Okey dokey.

“I’m dying,” Asaly says. “I’m literally actually deceased.”

People eating on public transit is one of my biggest peeves in life. The last thing I need to see\smell is you cramming a burrito into your maw on a subway car or bus. Plus nine times outta ten, they throw their garbage on the floor.

Yea no one believes their other plan “fell through”

Yep. Homebirth is taking unnecessary risks at the expense of your child for your own “birth experience”. In my opinion, you have failed the very first test of parenting by doing that. No baby is going to remember their birth.

It tastes (and smells) like chloride. I’m from Europe, we have tap water filtered by the dunes, so I guess I’m totally spoilt.

“I’d love to care about the environment, but really, you can’t expect me to drink North American tap water! I mean, what if it isn’t cool enough?”

lmao so you’re telling me every woman you meet is a hard core porn star who is also trashy and drug addicted, but also expects you to be filthy rich.

Allow me to translate: I’m a prude and I think anyone whose had sex with more than 5 people is a whore, and anyone who goes out drinking is a drug addict. I make a…

Never put your career above sex unless you break that six figure barrier, especially if you’re 35 and older.

I’ve never heard of Brother Nature before, but I am someone who’s been around the internet growing up and was online when I was a pre-teen.

Preteens just repeat the things they hear around them. It’s completely unreasonable to hold things against them years later. That’s even true of things like arson and armed robbery (which most justice systems in the US believe are juvenile court matters and should be remained sealed.)

I’d never heard of this guy until today, and he deserves to be smacked in the face for that haircut alone, but I’m having a hard time coming up with any fucks to give about what someone tweeted when they were 12/13 years old. Do people really have nothing better to do with their time?

If i’m Avril Lavigne and I find out i have Lyme Disease, i’m not calling a Real Housewife, I’m finding Irene from Real World Seattle.