Vuvuzela.

Pressing play on that gif was super anticlimactic. I had to go looking for better teacup gifs. Because priorities.

“I like vending machines ‘cause snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at a store, oftentimes, I will drop it... So that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.”

1. No, when I was a kid I got upset for screenlooking/cheating when looking at a controller, but I’m an adult and I honestly don’t care anymore. Also most people I know in their mid-20's don’t care either.

I’m terribly amused by Kripp’s attitude in this video. He comes off as the conspiracy theorist who has just miraculously been vindicated and is whispering into the mirror ‘I was right, I knew I was right all along!’

Jesus, I barely even remember the details of the Comey firing at this point, it’s all such a blur. That was six scandals and two Communications directors ago.

Maps are fake news! Sad!

They called in Kushner. Not even shitting you. He believed since Mexicans speak Spanish, it must be in South America. Then they had to explain the difference between South America and Latin America.

“What did I do to deserve this comparison?”

Yes, it does make him look terrible. I think a lot of us would hope that our president would have a bit more dignity than some salesman.

A friend of a friend is a Republican staffer who works in the White House. Apparently, Trump genuinely believed (and refused to believe staffers when they told him it wasn’t true) that Mexico is in South America.

Can you imagine being the person who leaked these calls? They are probably in a bar right now, knocking back another drink and sweating. Oh to be a Washington DC bartender...

“hey if you have anything, anything at all for me that would be great.”

Yeah, that may work out as far as getting a sales lead or two, but these are world leaders. You can’t use pathetic whining to get world leaders to give you everything you want because they feel bad for you, particularly when they’re well aware…

How many of them do you think there are at this point? Is it literally just everyone in the White House except the real hardliners like Kushner and Bannon? (Speaking of Bannon, where is that cirrhosis-laden asshole anyway? What has he been up to in the background where no one is paying attention....?)

I guess I’m surprised that he has a modicum of self-awareness to realize what a chump he looks like? And I almost pity him but I don’t because fuck that guy, and the mouthbreathers who voted for him because he talked tough. He’s grovelling on the phone! But sure, deals or whatever.

I do not know if you heard, but with Cuba, I had 84 percent, with the Cuban-American vote. But overall generally, I had well over 30 percent and everyone was shocked to see this. I understand the community and they understand me, and I have a great respect for the Mexican people.”

They voted for a guy who shits on people they hate.

If it wasn’t the fate of the country hanging in the balance, I might actually be amused by what is obviously a secret society of Republican WH staffers determined to bring Trump down from the inside.

I’m sure there’s some German word for what I’m feeling.

Right? His followers are so invested in the macho man figure they think he cuts, but he’s just a sniveling little turd.